Sleuthworm

Columbo

Played by: Peter Falk

Created by:
Richard Levinson and William Link

Lieutenant Columbo is a loveable L.A cop, who, despite his messy look with his frumpled hair and iconic shabby raincoat, is actually pretty sharp at catching contradictions and inconsistencies in crime scenes and testimonies. His primary way of catching the culprit is by asking questions about these inconsistencies in a friendly and humble yet also annoying manner, "Just one more thing..." he says after having already asked a hundred questions. This often makes the culprit impatient and irritated making them more probable to trip and expose their lies. He also likes to bring up his wife a lot, talking about what she said or what she heard, etc. further irritating the people he questions.

The Columbo series is a good twist on the ol' murder mystery genre since it shows who the killer is at the start of each episode and the story is more about Columbo catching them as they try to lie and cover up the crime, a howcatchem rather than a whodunnit. Most of the villains in the show are arrogant, rich, and/or elitist people which makes them a good contrast to the down-to-earth Columbo, making him really easy to root for as an underdog and the moment they are caught, which is called a "gotcha", is pretty satisfying to watch. It's honestly a pretty good comfort show. Just sit down, relax, and watch this little detective annoy the hell out of the murderer and see what schemes he thought of to catch them.

The show ran from 1971-1978 and was revived and then ran from 1989-2003 but i only watched and recommend the former run (except maybe a couple episodes from the latter) since the latter is considered to be a mixed bag.

Favourite Episodes

Here's a couple of episodes that i really like, i'll try not to give out any spoilers aside from the inciting murder but i really do recommend watching the show first.

S3E03: Candidate for a Crime

Candidate for a Crime is one of the episodes that perfectly encapsulates the show's identity in my opinion (a down-to-earth detective against an arrogant, high-class jerk who thinks they can get away with anything. Now, what kind of person perfectly fits the latter? A politician, of course!) and it has an added bonus of having probably the most satisfying gotcha in the series. Also Season 3 in particular, was probably the peak of the series having such amazing episodes like Any Old Port in a Storm (S03E02), Double Exposure (S03E04), and A Friend in Deed (S03E08) which are other episodes that i love and also recommend but this one is my favourite out of the season.

The episode starts with a politician running for the senate, Nelson Hayward, Getting mauled by reporters asking about the threats to his life. Hayward assures them that he will be safe and the police has some of their men keeping watch and protecting him. The reporters and Hayward pass by Columbo who looked curious about the ruckus.

Harry Stone and Linda Johnson

Listening to the news are Harry Stone, Hayward's campaign manager, and Linda Johnson, Hayward's wife's secretary and mistress. Harry is pleased that his "death threats" narrative is going well but in order to ensure Hayward's success, he orders Linda to leave Hayward since her relationship with him can destroy his chances if ever word of their affair gets out. Linda, however, refuses and says she will only stay away from Hayward if she hears it from Hayward himself. She then leaves and moments later Hayward arrives. Harry tells Hayward what he told Linda and orders him to break up with her too. Hayward, feeling cornered, agrees and tells Harry that he will break up with her in-person but there are police keeping watch on him so he cannot simply just leave. So, he proposes to Harry that they exchange jackets, so that when Harry escapes, the police will think it's Hayward and tail him. Giving the actual Hayward the opportunity to escape and break up with Linda. Harry agrees and Hayward tells him to go to his beach house. The two then execute the plan. Harry leaves, the police tails him, Hayward escapes.

Nelson Hayward shoots Harry Stone

Moments later, Harry slips from the cops and arrives in the beach house. However, surprise surpise, Hayward was already there waiting and shoots him multiple times. He then replaces the watch Harry was wearing with a less durable watch with the time set ahead to 9:20pm and breaks it to fake the time of death. Hayward goes to his home in order to celebrate his wife's birthday party in order to establish his alibi. Once it was actually past 9:20pm, Hayward excuses himself from the party and enters a room where he disguises his voice and calls the police, pretending to be the kiler who shot "Nelson Hayward". The police arrive at the scene and finds Harry Stone wearing Nelson Hayward's jacket and concludes that it's a case of mistaken identity, and Columbo (who came from the dentist in a bit of a long-winded scene) arrives shortly after to investigate.

Columbo asking questions to Nelson Hayward

i'm not gonna spoil the rest and tell how Columbo was able to solve such a complicated murder (that's the fun part of the show after all). Although it often gets criticized for its length (bordering around 2 hours) since it's longer than your average Columbo episode and what padded the runtime was a couple comedy scenes that were unnecessary (the dentist scene being one of them). I didn't really notice it being long both on my first watch and recent rewatch. What usually makes or break a Columbo episode for me is the cuprit and Columbo's chemistry with them, there are some episodes where they're dull and Columbo's interactions with them just isn't that fun to watch and there are some where they just match Columbo's wits and/or their exchanges with him are just entertaining to follow. This episode falls more on the latter, Jackie Cooper plays Nelson Hayward so well, he's not the toughest or most terrifying Columbo villain but he's so unlikeable that it's somewhat fun to see his downfall. He's evil but not comically evil, and i just really hated his guts becuase of his double life, cheating and lying to his wife whilst presenting this image of him being an altruistic public figure. He increasingly gets more aggressive too with the police as Columbo starts to get closer and closer to the truth, making the payoff as Columbo finally gets the gotcha more satisfying.

S4E04: Troubled Waters

Troubled Waters is a good change of pace to the usual setting of the show. This episode is set on a boat cruise ship which actually presents certain hurdles for Columbo to overcome and it's also somewhat of a comfy setting making this episode kind of relaxing to watch.


Danziger and his wife talking to the captain (with Columbo still asking in the background)
The episode begins with Columbo running in a hurry to onboard the ship. It turns out that he is looking for his wife since he lost her while they were onboarding as he asks some crewmen if they've seen his wife. The captain of the ship apparently remembers meeting her and points Columbo to their cabin or observation deck. We then meet Hayden Danziger and his wife, who appears to be a special and important guest on the ship. Little do they know, Danziger is starting to execute his plan. Under the pretense of lacking an extra key to his cabin, he asks for the master key only to secretly duplicate it with a tool in his cabin.

Lloyd simping for Rosanna
Meanwhile we are introduced to Lloyd Harrington and his friends, they are members of the band playing in the cruise ship. Lloyd apparently wants to pursue Rosanna Wells the singer of the band but one of his friends warns him that she'll "hang him out to dry", Lloyd pursues her none the less as she arrives. Turns out Lloyd should have listened, as despite having "something" between them in their previous gig in Vegas, Rosanna tells Lloyd to forget about it as she doesn't like to continue and explore what they had. Lloyd begs one last time but Rosanna doesn't change her mind and asks him to "get off her back". Lloyd blows off, causing a scene and leaves.

"You're hurting me..."
Back to Danziger who continues his scheme this time disposing the tool he used to duplicate the key by chucking it to the ocean. Then he breaks into Lloyd's room and plants a receipt of a gun he bought using Lloyd's name. He then breaks into another room and plants the gun there. Suddenly the door opens, and the owner of the room, Rosanna, comes in and asks Danziger why he is in her room. Turns out "surprisingly", Danziger had an affair with Rosanna back in Vegas but now she is blackmailing him in exchange for her silence. Rosanna asks for the money and Danziger says he gives it once the trip ends as long as she keeps quiet. She assures him she won't but also berates him a bit telling him to "use his head", which causes Danziger to hit her and he leaves frustratedly.

i do not like this picture. His smug aura mocks me.
Danziger then goes to the pool and then secretly snorted something to trigger a heart attack. He is then sent to the clinic, after getting checked-up and being told to rest a bit in the clinic, Danziger clarifies if he is the only patient there. The nurse confirms he is, he secretly smirks very smugly. We then cut to the band performing, with Lloyd at the piano, and Rosanna singing "Volare", i hope you like the song cause you're gonna hear her sing it again and again and again while Danziger executes his scheme. Meanwhile, Danziger sneaks away from his room, grabs a pair of surgical gloves from the clinic and gets out of the clinic while the nurse is smoking and reading a book. He runs through multiple floors and switches his outfit with a crew uniform and then continues running. Meanwhile "Volare" thankfully ends and Rosanna goes back to her room only to be stopped one more time by Lloyd but of course she rejects him and enters her room. She sits and checks herself in front of a mirror not knowing that behind her, suprise surprise, is Danziger with a gun. He grabs a pillow to surpress the gun and shoots Rosanna as she turns around. He then grabs the lipstick she was using and writes an "L" to further incriminate Lloyd.

Take your time, Lieutenant...
He then runs back to the clinic whilst disposing the gun in the laundry room. Meanwhile, the band is back for another round of performance but they start to notice Rosanna is still not yet back. While at the clinic, the nurse turns on the light to check on Danziger, who is already back with his clinic attire and all pretending that he just awoke from a comfortable nap. Moments later, A crewman knocks on poor `ol Columbo's door who just can't catch a break with a murder even on his vacation and informs him that the Captain wants to see him, Columbo hilariously assumes he is in trouble because of his wife, he is then brought to the crime scene and his investigation begins... after he has to deal with his seasickness.

totally not suspicious...at all
Now i'm gonna stop there and leave the rest for you to watch on your own. What i love about this episode, aside from it being on a cruise ship, is that Columbo has his back against the wall in this case. Not only does he have to solve a murder, he has to deal with seasickness, he has to work with a crew that is already dead set on Lloyd Harrington being the killer, and make do with his lack of equipment, forensics and lab technicians that usually back his evidences. Though i guess it is also balanced out with Danziger, played brilliantly by Robert Vaughn, being one of the less intimidating Columbo villains, especially when compared to the ones portrayed by Spock himself, Leonard Nimoy (S02E06 A Stitch in Crime) and Jack Cassidy (all his villains were intimidating but his most intimidating one imo is in S03E05 Publish or Perish). Something about his expression just looks visibly shaken and suspicious everytime Columbo points out an inconsistency in the narrative. Not that it's a flaw of the episode, tt's just pretty amusing. Anyways, it's another fun episode that i like to rewatch. Columbo's hijinks with his wife and all and the crew consistently correcting him that they're in a ship not a boat even in the middle of a questioning is comedy gold.

S7E01: Try and Catch Me

Not all Columbo villains are in the form of a smooth-talking, sharply-dressed, unsympathetic wealthy man. There are some who are fairly likable people, forced or pushed to commit a horrible crime because of unfortunate circumstances. We see this in episodes like Any Old Port in Storm (S03E02), Mind Over Mayhem (S03E06), and Forgotten Lady (S05E01). However, the most likable or rather the most tragic case of this is the case in the episode "Try and Catch Me".

We are introduced to an old lady writing at her desk. She looks over at a picture of a young woman on her desk and then to a paper resting on her typewritter with the words "EDMUND 2:30" typed on it. She takes it out and throws it away, and then she opens her secret safe behind a wall and seems to be examining it and testing something. This elderly lady is Abigail Mitchell, a famous crime writer a la Agatha Christie. She continues her experiment until a blonde woman comes in, Veronica Bryce, her assistant. Abigail informs her that she wants to see Edmund, who was apparently married to her niece, for a walk on the beach.

"I know what you did"

We then cut to said beach where Abigail and Edmund were walking. She mentions Phyllis, her niece, who apparently drowned. She "subtly" insinuates that Edmund is guilty despite claiming he tried to find the body. She then gets to her point. She wants Edmund to be her principal heir. Edmund tries to deny her offer, but she has already made up her mind about him and about her. Cut to Abigail tampering with a light switch in her room, causing it to turn off. She then goes out and meets Edmund as they prepare for the signing of the will. She orders him a bit to get some stuff in and out of her safe. Edmund notices that the light for the safe doesn't seem to work. Martin Hammond, Abigail's lawyer, arrives with the papers with two wills, Abigail's and Edmund's. Abigail reveals that she wanted to be Edmund's heir just in case an "unlikely" event occurs that he dies before her. Edmund naively accepts this and signs without even reading the will saying he trusts Abigail. They both sign and, afterwards, Abigail talks to Edmund privately and tells him to drive away and secretly come back and wait for her so she can tell her the combination to her safe without others knowing. Edmund blindly complies once again.

"For the love of God, Montresor!"

Abigail then informs Martin about the broken light in her room (the one she tampered with earlier) and once his attention is now towards fixing it. Abigail meets Edmund and shows him the combination. She then orders him to take the wills to the safe. Edmund, like before, does so. But this time Abigail creeps toward the door of the safe. She calls out to Edmund and tells him she knows he has murdered Phyllis. A look of horror appears on Edmund's face as Abigail pulls the cask of Amontillado by locking him inside. The safe is sound-proof, so Edmund's cries cannot be heard and Abigail is visibly shaken by what she just did. She then leaves and goes to her flight, only to be called back a day later as Edmund's body is discovered. Once she revisits the scene upon the request of the police, our good ol' lieutenant Columbo comes out of the safe who appears to be confirming the safe to be sound-proof. The sargent points Columbo to Abigail's arrival. Columbo is awe-struck, he is apparently a big Abigail Mitchell fan. Thus begins Columbo and Abigail's oddly endearing battle of wits.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww~

So once again i'll stop and share my thoughts about the episode. The interesting thing about Abigail is that she never really got angry or irritated at Columbo. Compared to the other killers, the worst thing she displayed was only a hint of anger when Columbo was finally really close to proving his case, but besides that their talks were very respectful and friendly despite the subject matter. You really can't help but empathize and feel for Abigail, with how likable and cheerful Ruth Gordon plays her. She really captures that whimsical old lady vibe, you can't really blame Edmund for foolishly trusting her. We also get a sentimental speech from Columbo when Abigail, in one of her pranks, puts Columbo on the spot to give a talk at her woman's club. He shares that he respects and likes some of the murderers he faces not for what they did, but for the part of them that's intelligence or just nice, "Because there's niceness in everyone...a little bit, anyhow". We are also gifted a scene with Columbo's dog, who is very adorable. I mean just look at him lean on the railing ^-^

Anyway, this episode, of course, has its flaws. Abigail, in particular, blunders a lot with handling her narrative and isn't really the sharpest killer despite being apparently good at writing crime fiction but all in all, Columbo and Abigail's dynamic makes it a strong episode, and it highlights not only Columbo's dedication to his job but also his empathy at recognizing a person's strength or redeeming quality despite their flaws.

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